To get to Twenty-Six Point Two: The BIG. LAST. LONG. Training Run.

Earlier this week I received an email from the Bruins Foundation Team inviting us to participate in a trial 21 mile run of the actual course. I was a little hesitant as I didn't know anyone else on the team... wasn't fully confident in my ability of running the 21 miles, and over all just nervous for what I may find out about myself during this type of run.

So Thursday night I attended a fundraising event for our Marathon Team at the North Star, and was able to talk my new friend Andy into joining me (it's always exciting for me when new friends are willing to come out and support.. although, maybe he knew there was the basketball game there and was just looking to beat 104... next time Andy.. next time).

Here I was greeted with open arms by the Boston Bruins Foundation Interns, and was able to meet a couple of the other runners. One in particular, Brittany, a full of life girl, who has run the marathon before for the Foundation. Her pure excitement in her voice and attitude when she spoke about her first experience, and telling me some of her back story, really finally got me excited for the marathon... I wasn't all nerves now... there was a peep of excitement coming out of me. The Foundation made us, or at the very least me, finally feel like I was actually doing something. They greeted us with new long sleeve shirts and sweet Bruins baseball caps (in which Andy molded my brim to perfection), and had Blades walking around making us feel like we were the celebrities of the event. I mean, Blades and I did become best friends. He even moved the larger than life picture of Seguin out of my view of the Bruins game on tv.

So Friday night comes along and I make sure to make a heaping portion of pasta, and drink lots and lots of water... and get myself into bed for 9:30pm.. and I must admit, it was not a good night of sleep... the amount of nerves running through my body wasn't normal. I'm not exactly sure what I was nervous about, but I felt it in every bone on my body. When my alarm finally did go off around 5:30am. I jumped right out of bed and started pacing around my apartment. I knew I needed to eat something, but I wasn't hungry. I tried to eat an english muffin with peanut butter, but could only finish half of it. Great, I thought, this isn't going to get me through this entire run... Think like it's marathon day Stephanie... Think like it's marathon day! As much as I tried, I couldn't eat anymore... so I drank some water... took some tylenol and packed my icy hot and got in my car and headed to Spaulding Rehab, where we were meeting up for the bus ride out to Hopkinton.

Upon arrival, I have to say, I was a little intimidated. The Spaulding team all knew each other, each others progress, and how everyone was doing. I haven't trained with anyone at all during this whole process... each run has been just me, against myself.

After a couple minutes another girl from my team showed up, Katie. She was extremely nice, and it was great to have someone to talk out my nerves with on the bus out to Hopkinton. Along the way out to the start line, I learned that she's run a couple marathons before, and is a pretty good runner (she will definitely be beating me come marathon day), but she is also extremely humble and down to earth. We were both able to chat with some of the Spaulding team members who had run Boston before, and were giving out friendly advice about different portions of the course. The most helpful was probably learning that the first mile is really all downhill, and to take it a little slower than you would normally think to do it.

Upon pulling off the highway, which I have to say, I felt like we were on 90 west for the longest time, if anything, just being on the bus for the ride out was great practice to know what that will be like come April 15th. But anyways... as we got closer to the start, all I could see were buses and runners with excitement written across their faces. This was real. I was in Hopkinton, about to run 21 miles on the course, that in a few weeks I'll be running with even more thousands of people, with a common goal of "finishing Boston" in our minds.

I didn't really know what to do with myself... I nervously chatted it up with one of the Boston Bruins Foundation interns, which as a side note, were part of what got me through this training run. These girls were fantastic. College interns, waking up early on a cold Saturday morning to come out and cheer us along a PRACTICE run. They were so reassuring, and so positive in their "you'll do great" comments. Knowing they would be out along the course, I knew I'd be looking forward to seeing them in the coming hours.

I met another one of my teammates, and when he asked what my pace was, my response was "slow"... I knew I had a lot more nerves than I thought. I'm a competitive person, and don't like not being good at something... but I also knew I needed to take a good hard swallow and get over that notion... no one here was judging me or my pace... we somehow were all in this together and everyone wasn't going to let you fail.

Once I took a deep breath and calmed myself down, watched a few big groups take the leap and start the run, I decided it was my turn. It was now or never... I put my gloves on, checked my watch, turned on my headphones... and it was go time.

I heeded the warnings to take the first mile a little slower, and found myself in a good rhythm for the first third of the race. I kept telling myself I wouldn't walk until the next mile... and then I'd get to the next mile, and find that I was still doing okay and would make it to the next mile before walking. This happened almost up until mile 8 or 9 before I finally gave in and let myself walk a little. My shins were on fire. The one training error I made was not doing a lot of training with hills. Although I look at it two ways... 1) I train with hills and have more knee pain or 2) I don't train with hills, have healthier knees, and just deal with it on race day.... I've gone with option 2.

Finally reaching one of the water stations that had the Bruins Foundation Interns, I can't even tell you the excitement I had seeing them. They were so encouraging and smiling and cheering for us as if it were actually the marathon day. These girls definitely kept me motivated.

The coolest thing throughout this whole run was the sheer mass of people out doing the same exact thing I was doing. We were all prepping for what will most definitely be one of the best days of our lives. No matter who passed you, or you passed everyone was in great spirits and giving out encouraging words to keep you going. Having fast runners pass you telling you to "keep it up" may seem like a small thing, but when you're on mile 12, it's a nice thing to hear.

I'm still in awe over the amount of people, not only running the trial run, but also the amount of volunteers out at the many, many, many waters/food stations along the way. The best sign was at the 11 mile marker where college kids were definitely outside having a party for us, DJ and all, screaming encouragement at us all...

So excited to see the words "Taper"

When I got to mile 17... my legs were jello. I hurt all over, and knew Heartbreak Hill was right around the corner... just waiting to crush my soul. The thing about this part of the race, is not that it's hilly, but that it's mile 17-21... and probably one of the more crowded areas of the course. When I made my right to the first of the 4 hills... I knew it was going to be a struggle. Was I ready for this? It was only another 4 miles until the end of the training run, but did my body have what it would take to finish?

I found myself playing leap frog with a couple different runners... and as much as I was struggling and in pain... I knew I wasn't alone. Even though my training has been no one more than myself, I was finding strength in these complete strangers, who were most definitely sharing the experience of Heartbreak Hill with me. We didn't have to speak to each other... our leap frog game said it all.... I'll run this part... then you catch up... and we'll switch.

When I finally reached the top of the last hill... I was overcome by emotion. I didn't really know what to do with myself. Because, here's where I had what most people call "a moment of reflection"... I was standing at the end of my longest distance and time of running in my entire life. This was a HUGE moment for me. And I was proud of myself. I couldn't believe I was standing where I was at that very moment. And this was the moment this race truly became real to me, and truly became extremely personal.

On February 1st when I got the phone call that changed my end of winter/beginning of spring plans; I didn't really know what I was going to find out about myself. For a girl who has gone through so much, in not only my immediate history, but in the last few years as a whole, I was finally doing something for "me" and just "me". When I told my best friend Shana this, her response was pretty telling in just, "finally". When I cross that finish line on April 15th, and I WILL cross that finish line, I already know it'll be one of the most meaningful moments in my entire life... and I can not WAIT to feel that.

For once, I will have a meaningful memory not tied to anything that's not permanent in my life. Even just thinking about this moment that's coming up so soon, emotion rushes through my entire body.

After I got home, I was on a different level of happy... even if my legs were in pain and needed ice. I was happy... and my smile only grew when I opened the mail and found my runner's passport.

Boston Marathon 2013... I can't wait to meet you.